What have you learned in your business?

I have been doing a lot of evaluating what I have learned over the years, both the personal and the professional level, some are unique to me and others are universal.

While it would have been nice to know all this when I started running a business, I feel like most of it had to be experienced precisely as it has happened.

See if you recognize yourself anywhere in here.

Here are some key lessons that I have learned:

1. The flight attendants are right. You have to put your own oxygen mask on before taking care of anyone else. If you pass out, you’re useless to everyone relying on you, and they’re doomed too.   So, put yourself first: You are your most important client, so do your marketing first. Pay yourself first. Prioritize for yourself.
2. I can’t help everyone. Some colleagues don’t get this. Have you had a client who desperately wanted your help? Their business concept was revolutionary in their mind but seemed like a commodity to everyone else. They are dumping money into it and driving people away because they don’t want to listen to reason. You spend months trying to help, even though they don’t feel the advice fits them. A friend finally said to me, “Maybe they will succeed doing it their way. Or, maybe the plane will crash into the mountain. Either way, you can’t help.” It was painful for me to believe I could prevent the crash. I’ve since learned that I can only help those who want it and I can’t force help on those who don’t, even when they appear to be asking for it.
3. Not everyone wants to grow their business. Sometimes they’re ready to retire; other times, they’re doing it all themselves and growth means more pressure. I found this so hard to believe in the beginning, but even though I don’t identify with them, I do understand now.
4. Only work with perfect clients. It’s not a value judgment. Instead, it is knowing that exactly who you work with needs exactly what you do AND (no, that’s not enough) resonates with you on a mind and spirit level.  Like many of the biggest lessons, I got this one the hard way. There was a little trio of dysfunction that taught me, over the span of a few years, just what I’m susceptible to: the person, whom I’d call “Help, Help, but Don’t Help Me!” There was there was “Mr. Personal Problems” and his close cousin, “The Boundary Violator.” The gift they all gave me was an indelible experience so that, when someone shows up and even smells a little bit like one of them, I can say, “I don’t think I’m the one to help you.” So for that I’m grateful!
5. Team up for more success. Strategic alliances, collaborations, employees, virtual assistants, and other partners, together everyone achieves more!
6. Just about everything you do can be done better, faster, or cheaper by someone else. Therefore, you must strive to only do what only you can do. In my business I’m the Vision Holder, designing the future of our business and reminding us all why we’re here; the Rainmaker, offering what we do to those who need it; and the Thought Leader, designing and delivering products and services that effectively help our clients attract more clients and become more joyful business owners. Everything else, I can delegate.
7. It is not the destiny of every business to succeed. I once thought that if you felt called to do something and put your heart and soul into marketing it, you were meant to succeed. But now, I’ve seen too many good businesses go down to believe this anymore.  I don’t know what the Big Plan is. Sometimes you crash into the side of the mountain. Sometimes Walmart moves to town and eats your lunch.
8. The biggest ideas come to me when I’m away from my business.I was at a coffee shop when I received and started to create the bigger vision for the business. Although I’d had bad experiences with virtual assistants earlier in the business, I realized it was time to update my views. I’m older and wiser, and my impact was limited by trying to go it alone. Once that light bulb went on, I saw that I needed someone to do some of tasks so that I could focus on what I do best. I got a higher perspective and several powerful strategies that affirmed my new direction. That rarely happens when you’re sitting at your desk with your thinking cap on.
9. Effective small businesses attract clients with compelling content. When I first started, there was more focus on networking with personal connections. But now, everyone’s a publisher. You don’t have to write, but you do have to generate ideas that can be put into articles, videos, reports, etc. Content is the glue that gets clients to stick with you.
10. There is really not a competitor. If we all do exactly what we’re supposed to for exactly those who want it most, there will be plenty for everyone. I used to worry about competition.
11. Self employment is more about finding clients than doing what you’re in business to do. If you don’t learn to love the process of attracting clients, you’ll spend most of your life suffering. It terrified me in the beginning, looking for clients and feeling like I was unemployed, but I did learn to love it, especially generating and sharing compelling content.
12. (a) The best investment you can make in your business is learning what are, and how to do, the things that keep you from success. (b) You already know everything you need to know to be successful. Yes, these statements contradict each other, and yet they are both true.
13. Get used to being an enigma to people with “real” jobs. Why do you work so much? How do you get any work done from home? Why are you answering emails after hours? One of the best things you can do is to get into a community, virtual or in person, with people like you.
14. Everyone has an conscience whose job it is to protect us from change which, whether good or bad, it perceives to be dangerous. It shows up frequently but always is present when you’re ready for the next big leap. The confusion is my sign that I’m at the edge of my comfort zone.
15. If you pay attention, your business will teach you a lot about yourself. Mine is communicating with me all the time, reflecting which beliefs are holding me back as well as where my growth opportunities are.

Steven J. Beaman is the founder & principal owner of BCSG, LLC, a general business consultancy and coaching organization whose primary focus is independent professionals and small businesses. Steven helps businesses to determine the constraints that are causing them to become stagnant or unproductive. He also assists start-up businesses to determine the roadblocks or obstacles that they may not have perceived. He also guides organizations through the start-up process, rapid business growth, or a turnaround situation. He does this using his wealth of management experience gathered during his over 35 year career of managing a variety of business functions in both small and medium businesses. He has expertise in numerous types of businesses (for profit and non-profit).